Friday, December 02, 2005

Wow, What a Jerk

I finally got an e-mail address. Click on my profile to send any comments/questions/links/news or gossip items/fan mail/hate mail.

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Ow. My ears.

James Blake Tennis was kind (evil?) enough to provide fans with a video feed of the worst serenade I have ever heard. It's bad. Really bad. I'm talking "My Best Friend's Wedding"-kind of bad. Don't let the government get a hold of this video or they will use it to torture prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. I'm serious. You have been warned.

Andy murders "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling".

After your ears bleed out from listening to Andy sing, surf around and check out the photos they took from AnthemLIVE! Very nice.

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NEW PICS ADDED TO PHOTO GALLERY. I finally scanned in Roddick's ACE Tennis magazine cover story and I also included some screencaps taken of him while being interviewed on "60 Minutes." Enjoy.


JOCK TALK. Roddick puts his best Dumb Jock face forward on "60 Minutes".



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Andy vs PONG!

Roddick's official site is reporting that he just finished filming a new advertisement for American Express in which his opponent is PONG:
Andy has faced difficult opponents in his career including The Federer Express, The Spanish Bull, and Andre the Great. But little could prepare Andy for his latest adversary: PONG!

This past Tuesday, Andy filmed a new American Express advertisement featuring the pioneer of video games, Pong. Ken Meyerson, Andy's Agent, describes the ad as "simple and fun," reminiscent of the hilarious Amex commercial in which Andy struggled with various trophies and over-sized checks in an airplane.

The new ad will debut at the Australian Open, run during all the Grand Slams and some of the Master Series events through the summer. No stranger to the camera, Andy has been featured in several Amex commercials, ESPN Sportscenter promotions and hosted Saturday Night Live.

I am very pleased to hear that this new television advertisement will be a short and clever ad reminiscient of the trophy ad, and not something too detailed and drawn-out like the mojo ad. Upon hindsight, I think the whole "Andy's Mojo" campaign was too much for everyone to chew on--it was overproduced and overambitious and very not Andy-like. It entailed telling a story over several commercial segments which is always in danger of confusing viewers. Upon the first viewing of the ad it was fun and cheesy. But it wasn't the kind of ad you wanted to see over and over again during slams. Not only that, but there wasn't enough of Andy onscreen and way too much of that weird-looking, annoying guy who played Andy's mojo. To Amex: put the camera on him and just let Andy be Andy and the commercial will take care of itself.

For those of you who were not blessed with playing PONG when the first home-video games hit homes in the 70s and 80s, you can go here to play a bit of it and be as awed as we were when we first played it on our Atari systems.

edit, January 23, 2006
Watch Roddick's "Pong" American Express TV advertisement here. After the page loads click on "Watch TVC". Great ad!

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Just another do-gooder jerk

December is Andy Shills for Charity Month. Our humanitarian jerk will be making the rounds to several charity exos this month so I'll try to keep you abreast on his goings-on and post the necessary pictures of him in the photo gallery.

(PS - for those of you wondering about the jerk comments, it's in reference to Roddick's detractors who often accuse him of being a jerk. Look, if you're going to hate the guy hate him for his faux hawk hairdo or for wearing all-white after Wimbledon, but I don't know too many "jerks" who do more for charity in one month than most people do in their entire lives.)

We'll start with the Anthem LIVE! exo from last night where Andy joined good friend James Blake in a light-hearted match. You can view a video of them here from the local news.
They swooned for wide-eyed, tousled-haired Andy Roddick. They swooned for the innocent boy-next-door John Mayer.

It's not unusual for two of the hottest stars in tennis and music to hear a throng of young women greet them with shrill screams and appreciative catcalls.

What was unique about Thursday night at the Ted Constant Convocation Center was that Roddick and Mayer along with tennis player James Blake and singer Gavin DeGraw all shared the same bill. The event was part of an evening organized by Blake and sponsored by Anthem Live to raise money for cancer research.

"We love you, Andy!" shrieked a group of 14-year-olds carrying pastel signs of A-N-D-Y letters in the building's south end zone.

"We love you more," the opposite end zone screeched back.

DeGraw's 30-minute set opened the show followed by a lighthearted exhibition match pitting Roddick, ranked third in the world, against Blake, a quarterfinalist at this year's U.S. Open. For the record, the two split sets and, in lieu of a third, played a tie-breaker won by Blake, 7-5.

The highlight of the match came afterward when Roddick serenaded 17-year-old Airen Adamonis of Newport News with a warbling rendition of "You've Lost that Lovin’ Feeling."

Image hosted by Photobucket.comWHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN. Every girls' dream is to be serenaded by a tone-deaf Andy Roddick.

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ABC Sports in Australia is reporting that Andy may take a wildcard into Adelaide next month. Rumors like this one are often started by the tournament officials themselves in an effort to "plant the seed" in the players' heads, so to speak. Think maybe the Adelaide tournament directors are a tad desperate to get Roddick over there? Heh.
Roddick a wildcard chance for Adelaide

The organisers of next month's Adelaide International say there is a chance big-serving American Andy Roddick could take one of two remaining wild card entries for the event.

Tournament co-director, Peter Johnston, says with Lleyton Hewitt and Mark Phillippousis already in the draw, the wild cards could make the competition even more interesting.

"There's always the chance of an eleventh-hour request from a marquee player like say an Andy Roddick or someone," he said.

"We're not too hopeful, but we haven't closed the door on those things... but some guys who made their Davis Cup debut last year would be potential chances - [Chris] Guccione and [Peter] Luczak."

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Image hosted by Photobucket.comWhat a surprise: Roddick committs to Las Vegas tournament

Surely Andy will arrive a week ahead of time to get acclimated to the hot, dry conditions (i.e. brush up on his Texas Hold 'Em skills).
The Tennis Channel Open – the ATP tournament owned and operated by The Tennis Channel – announced today that tennis star Andy Roddick has committed to play in the tournament in Las Vegas Feb. 27-March 5. The 2006 Tennis Channel Open takes place at The Amanda & Stacy Darling Memorial Tennis Center in Las Vegas, which opened this fall. Tennis Channel Open tickets are now on sale. Individual tickets and ticket packages can be purchased by phone at 888-TCO-TIXS (888-826-8497) or online at www.tennischannelopen.com.

"It's apparent that the move to Vegas has generated interest from some of the most uniquely talented and gifted athletes in the world, and some of the greatest personalities in tennis," said Steve Bellamy, president and founder, The Tennis Channel. "A ticket to any session is going to get you a seat at a great match, whether you see Andy Roddick, James Blake, Robby Ginepri or anyone else; it's an exciting group all the way through."

"I'm looking forward to playing the inaugural Tennis Channel Open in Las Vegas," said Roddick. "The excitement of the city should be a tremendous draw for guys on the tour, and The Tennis Channel's plan to build a tennis-festival atmosphere is a great idea that's going to be a lot of fun to visit each year."

For the record, the Tennis Channel Open replaces the Scottsdale, AZ tournament. Roddick did not play Scottsdale this year. Actually, nobody did. It was like TMC Shanghai, only eight months earlier.

The Las Vegas Sun seems excited:
ANDY'S IN, ANDRE'S OUT

Last month, when plans to move the Tennis Channel Open from Scottsdale, Ariz., to Las Vegas were announced, I was told it wouldn't be possible for hometown hero Andre Agassi to pull out of a commitment to play in the United Arab Emirates that same weekend at such short notice.

Then last week, at even shorter notice, Andy Roddick said he was pulling out of the Middle East to play tennis in a desert closer to home.

Roddick's presence, provided he can avoid an early upset and center court at the new Darling Tennis Center doesn't fall apart, should make the event a success right out of the box. But not as big a success were he and Agassi to trade ground strokes in the final.

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Learning How to Say "No"

Matt Cronin at TennisReporters agrees with some Roddick fans who think one of Roddick's problems is overextending himself and not knowing how or when to say "No":
Roddick – who is scheduled to play Davis Cup, San Jose, Memphis, Indian Wells and Miami – was going to take the week off, but a decent amount of guarantee money and a personal plea by the TTC's Steve Bellamy changed his mind. Counting the Aussie Open, the US's No. 1 player is now scheduled to compete 10 out of 11 weeks without a break – a huge risk even for the most well-conditioned athlete and an even bigger one for a man who is dealing with back problems.

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More Advice for Roddick

Check out Joel Drucker's commentary about Andy's road to the SAP Open 2006, "Roddick at the Crossroads."


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Still More Helpful Advice for Roddick

Dear Andy: I would advise you to never put a picture like this of yourself on your official website. Ever. Again.

No. Really. Just no.

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How to rip the LA Times a new one

The LA Times is, in my opinion, one of the worst U.S. newspapers to go to for any kind of reliable or informative tennis news. Like Fox News, you can always count on them for biased and unfair "reporting" of tennis. Sadly, they are not a unique case here in the states, where tennis takes a back-seat to the kindergarten poker championship and national spelling bees. They are people who think tennis is all about the US Open and nothing else, and they'd rather write the Today's Birthdays section than report on any player who's name isn't Andre Agassi.

The reason for my rant is that they had the unmitigated gall to put forth their own rankings of the top ten players for 2005 and I'm sorry but when the LA Times publishes something this dense, it must not go unpunished.

The LA Times' Rankings

1. Roger Federer — First thought: Now vulnerable after Shanghai loss. Second thought: He was out for six weeks.

My first thought: this is only his fourth loss of the year, it's not a nail in anybody's coffin. My second thought: earlier this year Federer was also out for six weeks only to come back and win the cursed Cincinatti title that had eluded him. My third thought: the LA Times needs to retire.

2. David Nalbandian — Moves ahead of Roddick, Hewitt in Federer rivalry sweepstakes.

Beating an injured Federer doesn't automatically send you to the head of the class. Not when other players have beaten him healthy. And although Nalbandian used to beat up on Federer in juniors all the time and his head-to-head with Federer now stands at 6-4, he'll need to be a far more consistent player at the majors in order to earn the esteemed title of Roger's Rival. (their quaterfinal match at USO this year was dreadfully one-sided and typical of a Federer smack-down). His TMC final win may or may not be a turning point in Nalbandian's career, but 2006 should show us the consequences of that match.

And as for Hewitt and Roddick, these guys have never claimed to be Federer's rival. In fact Roddick himself has often said that he needs to starting winning some matches before it could be called a rivalry. And where is Nadal on the rivalry list? Last I saw, he was sweeping Federer off the dirt at the French Open and almost beat him in straight sets at the Miami masters. And he's only 19. What was Federer--or any of the other top players for that matter--winning at the age of 19?

3. Rafael Nadal — Word(s) of advice. Quit playing every week during clay-court season.

So Nadal wins an incredible 11 titles this year, half of them being majors, and this is their helpful advice to him? Come on.

4. Andre Agassi — Hurt himself playing racquetball. One question: Racquetball?

What kind of comment is this? And I love Agassi as much as the next fan but what the heck is he doing way up here at No. 4? He won one title this year and had a brilliant run at USO but that's it. He was not consistent enough throughout the year to warrant being No. 4 on the list.

5. Ivan Ljubicic — Davis Cup bumper sticker we'd like to see: Slovakia or Bust.

As far as ATP rankings and career money goes, being the Davis Cup hero just doesn't count. Ljubicic's record at the majors this year was abysmal (crashing out by first, second, or third round at all four slams). This is not champion material. But his successful run during the European indoor season could point towards a more promising 2006 for the Croatian. Still, for the purpose of lists such as this, we rate players for what they have accomplished this year, not for what they might accomplish next year.

6. Lleyton Hewitt — Good guess that his newborn daughter won't be named Kim.

Pure comedy genius. Call the Daily Show.

7. Andy Roddick — Not quite annis horribilis in '05 but you sort of get the idea.

Poor No. 3 in the world Andy Roddick and his crummy five titles lands at number seven after Hewitt, Ljubicic, and Agassi. Granted, he didn't win any majors this year but he did win several titles (on five different surfaces, mind you) and is a viable competitor at three of the four slams. The LA Times should have ranked him higher than this.

8. Nikolay Davydenko — Thirty tournaments in '05 brought home one title.

Yet unlike half the South American replacement picks at TMC, Davydenko actually earned his Shanghai spot. Go figure.

9. Gaston Gaudio — At least it was Federer beating him, 6-0, 6-0, in Shanghai.

I don't care if God himself was serving the bad medicine, losing love and love at the year end championships where the best players in the world are pitted against each other is just downright embarassing and wrong. Gaudio's track record on fast courts is not so bad that he should've been obliterated like that, not even by Federer. An injured Federer, no less.

10. Shanghai — Withdrawal bug hits hard. The WTA feels the ATP's pain.

Gah. I sure hope somebody comes up with a cure for this nasty bug, the LA Times Bird Flu, before it spreads to other continents.

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14 comments:

Noelle De Guzman said...

LMAO! You really did rip a good new one on the LA Times. And Andy is SUCH a jerk, we should all be jerks like him (except for the "Duh, jock" face, of course).

ellen said...

tangy, you seriously crack me up! and, you spoil us with 2 posts close together... i'm loving it!!

why is andy such a baby eating jerk who serenades young females. he really knows how to get us excited. lol

i would love to see the facial expression of that girl during the song. utter. disbelief. (not that andy's singing, but that he has no shame in singing with such a horrible voice).

anyway, im already bored and the off-season has just begun. help.

Blosson said...

Hahaha. What the Los Arse Times know about tennis! I can't believe that top 10 article was actually published.

I need to get Andy's love song as my ringtone. It will unrock the office.

Bye.

bloober said...

WOW!

Danielle said...

hahahahahahaa!!! Tangy, you're like, my hero. "Roddick did not play Scottsdale this year. Actually, nobody did. It was like TMC Shanghai, only eight months earlier." BURN. And lovely comments about the LA Times "article" ;)

Renee said...

Brilliant! Except that, I have a question... (On Roddick)"...and is a viable competitor at three of the four slams." *whispers: surely you mean 2 of the 4?* *stab & twist*

PinkFeatherJen said...

I love you, Tang. Your blog rocks my socks, but makes me laught to hard.

x

Anonymous said...

Another masterpiece - especially the LA Times rebuttal!!!!!

Steve

tangerine said...

oh boy, comments! I love comments. :D

Noelle, as I said before, Andy's dumb jock expression throughout the "60 Minutes" interview was priceless.

ellen, the off-season is only a month and yet a lot of us are already dying for more tennis! Luckily I still have some old matches that still need viewing but boy do I wish I had the Tennis Channel. I would never leave the couch. ;)

blosson, "Los Arse Times" haha! That's going to be used for a future blog entry, I can assure you. :)

bloober, thanks for stopping by. I wish I could click on your name and see what blog(s) you write for, though. :(

danielle, yeah the Scottsdale snark was a good one I think. Hee! ps- when are you starting a Vinny Ice blog? ;D

renee, talk about pouring salt on the wound! Yes, Andy's FLUKE loss at USO was a very low moment in the Chronicles of Roddick but that was an unusual happening and surely it won't happen again. If it does happen again, Andy will have to go into hiding soon after!

Pinkyboa - aw, I love you too *hugs* but I hope I haven't put you off from reading more.

Steve - thanks for the feedback. You rock :D

Noelle De Guzman said...

oh. my. goodness. I'm downloading the video clip now. How should I prepare myself? Earplugs? :D

Anonymous said...

LOL! that clip is absolutely hilarious...so maybe there was a reason why he used to stick to the "ice, ice baby" rap! a little easier on the ears ;)

great blog by the way! its set as one of my favourites now :)

-Z

Renee said...

Guide to identify the similarity of the song Andy was singing with the original:
1. Listen to Andy's version and laugh your ass off
2. Listen to the original version by the Righteous Bros.
3. Listen to Andy sing again and again and again (a copy of the lyrics might help here) until you finally get what he's going on about

:P

Noelle De Guzman said...

I'm LMAO at the VinnyAndy pic, too. ^____^ They're both performing artists, so the similarity doesn't end at the off-center cap thing. ;)

Anonymous said...

this is thr worst site ever....Roddick is a legend what is your problem!

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