Sunday, November 13, 2005

Bring Me the Head of Ben Affleck

With tennis season almost officially over, I'm not sure yet if I'll continue to update this blog every day, or maybe every other day, or less. I've made a list of tantalizing subjects to talk about during the long one-month off-season so that'll keep things humming along for a bit. Then, just as I'm about to run out of things to talk about I'll be counting on Roddick to do something that will piss me off again which will result in a five week tirade guaranteed to hog up this blogspace for quite a while.

Added some screencaps taken from the Paris Masters to my photo gallery. Enjoy.

There was a headline on Yahoo news about a week ago that cracked me up. It said, "Report: A-Rod cautioned on playing poker." It took me a few seconds to realize that it wasn't talking about our A-Rod but baseball's Alex Rodriguez instead. It was an honest mistake. We all know that our A-Rod is just as addicted to poker as every other sports figure these days, even the pristine Roger Federer was weakly connected to a poker scandal recently. I even heard a rumor (that I actually don't doubt) that Roddick had joined the web gambling site, PartyPoker. In fact, after the game sold out last Christmas, I don't know any male who doesn't have a Texas Hold 'Em party every week and I put the blame squarely on Ben Affleck's shoulders. No, I'm not kidding. Because it was his brilliant idea to start the Celebrity Poker shows and then it caught on with every fatass beer-swilling lump of cheetos-nourished flesh on the planet, and now poker is just one more flippin' NON-sport that tennis has to compete with on ESPN. Thank you for your worthy contribution to sports, Ben Asslick.
Image hosted by
YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO FOLD THEM. Somebody get this guy off my ESPN.

An update on Andy's injury from the Sun-Sentinel:
Roddick's Injury Not Serious

Andy Roddick, who dropped out of this week's $4 million Masters Cup tournament because of a bad back, is not seriously injured and expects to be ready in two weeks to begin training for the 2006 season.

The problem is muscular, not disk related, and one of the major factors in Roddick's decision not to go to Shanghai was sitting for 15 hours on an airplane with this lumbar strain.

Plus, he probably wouldn't be able to practice when he got to the Far East. So he has gone home to Austin, Texas, and his coach, Dean Goldfine, is back in Aventura getting reacquainted with his family.

It's a shame that Andy had to miss Shanghai but I am happy to hear that the injury is not disk-related (a far more serious injury that could've sidelined him for months). The 15-hour flight likely would've made his back worse. Take care of that back, Andy. We want you strong and healthy and ready to rule the Australian Open when your holiday break is over.

Peter Bodo over at TennisWorld has some nice words to say about the way Andy handled his withdrawal from Shanghai:
Of course, unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past two days, you also know that Andy Roddick has pulled out of the Shanghai Tennis Masters Cup [. . .]

[. . .] the men have tried to put the best face on their hardships. Here's the money quote from the announcement that Roddick pulled out of Shanghai with a bad lower back:

"Though I have continued to practice, train and play, the lower back spasms continue. . . . After being evaluated by medical staff upon my return to the United States, it is now clear that I am not able to resume tennis activities for 10-14 days. I apologize to the loyal fans and sponsors that have expected my participation in Tennis Masters Cup. It is an honor for me to have qualified for this event for the third straight year. I realize the tremendous amount of time and effort the ATP and the Chinese government have spent on the event, and know it will be a huge success. I look forward to getting healthy, starting my off-season workouts for the 2006 season, and working towards qualifying for Shanghai next year."

Oh, sure, you can say it's all spin and diplomatic make-nice language. But there's nothing wrong with treating fans and sponsors with deference, unless it's disingenuous. I don't think that's the case for Roddick. It was pretty clear in the Paris Masters Series event that he was hurt. His statement of withdrawal is, simply, classy.

If Federer can play anywhere near his best, the tournament will be saved, despite losing Roddick and the expectant dad, Hewitt (why should he have gone to Shanghai anyway--just to waxed by the Mighty Fed for the 5,009th time?). Of course, it would have been nice of Hewitt to show a little more regret for missing the Masters Cup, as well as a nod of appreciation a la Roddick, but he's a callow guy.

Jeez, doesn't anybody in the media have one positive thing to say about Lleyton Hewitt?

The Poster Boy for Ghetto Magazines

Andy is scheduled to do a photo shoot with City and Shore magazine this month, so that's just one more fancy rag mag that we'll never get our hands on to read. City and Shore? Would it kill Roddick's handlers to set up an appointment with a national magazine for once? I work in New York City where you can usually find any kind of garbage publication around but not even this magazine would be carried by the Indian newsstands. I mean. what's next on his publicity schedule? Buggies and Wagons magazine?

Photo by leuvenbelgium at LiveJournal

Y-M-C-A! Wait, this isn't a gay bar?

Gossip! Gossip! We've got gossip!

Well, we don't got the gossip, but we found it. Some shameless slut over at LiveJournal had the chance to party with the US Davis Cup team in Belgium. So what does she think of Marat Safin's best buddy? "He's an alright guy. A little too cocky for me but nice enough." Here's her scintillating account of the whole sordid affair including photos.


Noelle De Guzman said...

LOL! Glad you decided to give that LJ thing a mention. :) Can't believe Andy is doing another photo shoot. Oh well... if this tennis thing doesn't work out, he can always go into modeling. Mmm. ;)

ellen said...

this confirms my original thoughts - not only is andy the best actor ever (faking injuries, friends etc) but he's a dirty partying slut.

hardly worth living, right?! ;)
he should just retire into modelling, where his talents really lie ;)

Anonymous said...

I think Bodo's comments on Hewitt were unduly harsh. Somehow, I think Mrs. Bodo would have been put out if Bodo had gone off on a writing gig when she was about to pop out Bodo Jr.


partygirl is not a ho....yet said...

those ho's in belguim make me sick...and andy too, stop fucking like a jackrabbit, unless your gonna share with everyone.

partygirl, again said...

poker is not a sport...damn it!
why must they insist on calling it so & airing it on espn?

get a freakin clue no matter what the stakes its still just losers sitting at a table holding paper,lying to one another... how athletic.

Anonymous said...

Andy went to a party ??? in Belgium afther Davis Cup and I didn´t know :-))). Time to party, but not time to give me a signature. Next time he´s in Belgium, I go to every pub, and I will let you know, if I have found him.

Thanks for the the way funny blog. Keep on the good work :-)

© Copyright 2005-2009 Roddick Watch. All rights reserved.